It’s the ‘most wonderful time of the year’. A time to take a break from routine, connect wtih family and friends and have some fun.
Yet sometimes the ‘most wonderful time of the year’ can feel like the ‘most stressful time of the year’.
If not kept in check finishing off work before the holidays + back to back social events + family commitments + Christmas shopping can = Stress, Overwhelm and Exhaustion.
The desire to be all things to all people can leave us feeling like we are not good enough in any department.
Here are my top 7 tips to help you have a stress free, calm Christmas.
1. Figure Out What Is Important To You
This is the easiest and the hardest step of all.
Take five minutes to yourself, grab a cuppa and a notebook and jot down what your dream Christmas looks like.
No constraints.
Your dream Christmas might be lying on a tropical beach, sipping a Pina Colada and not clapping eyes on a single family member for two weeks.
Your reality might be taking the three kids and dog to Bognor Regis to visit the in-laws for three days.
That’s OK. Figure out your ideal scenario first.
From your ideal scenario, identify the elements that are non-negotiables. It might be the people that you spend time with (or don’t spend time with), the places you want to visit (or not visit), the presents you want to give (or not give) or the food that you want to eat (or not eat).
Once you have identified your non-negotiables, build them into your festive plans.
And let the rest go.
If eating homemade Christmas Cake is uber-important to you then make sure that it happens. Then relax and let other people make the decisions about the mince pies, the Christmas pud and the Brandy Butter.
Or don’t bother having it at all.
The important thing is identify the bits of festive fun that are important to you, make them a priority and don’t worrying about the rest.
2. Good Enough Is Good Enough
The ‘good enough is good enough’ mantra is true for all aspects of life, not just Christmas.
Don’t let your perfectionist tendencies take over and ruin your festive seasons.
If you are tight on time it really doesn’t matter if your gift cards don’t match your wrapping paper. The kids won’t even notice if you haven’t managed to wrap the stocking fillers. And your guests will not care if you microwave a ready made Festive Red Cabbage rather than slaving for hours over the real deal.
Good Enough really is Good Enough.
3. Set Expectations
Have an honest conversation with your friends and family and make sure that your vision for the festive season is aligned.
If you have decided that you won’t be buying gifts this year, talk to the people that might be expecting something from you and explain your reasons why.
If you have decided to eliminate some of your family visits then talk to the people that you would normally visit and explain why you are doing what you are doing.
Being clear and up front with people will prevent all manner of bad feeling and misunderstandings. These conversations might feel uncomfortable but they are worth it.
4. Ask For Help
You don’t have to do it ‘all by yourself’. Christmas is a lot of fun but the festivities also generate a lot of extra work.
Don’t feel the need to be a superhero. Or even worse, don’t be a martyr. Taking on the additional work and silently (or not so silently) feeling bitter and resentful.
Work out where you would appreciate some help and go and ask for it.
And if somebody offers their help, embrace it with open arms!
5. Say No
You really don’t have to do it all. You don’t need to attend all of the social events. You don’t need to participate in every Secret Santa opportunity.
Hold firm to that vision of your ideal Christmas and then say no to everything that does not take you closer to that vision.
If saying no is something that you struggle with (You are not alone. Many people would rather walk over hot coals rather than say no) then take a look at my SAY NO ADVICE.
6. Make Time for Yourself
Following on from the warning to not be a superhero or a martyr, make sure that you carve out some time for yourself this Christmas.
If you have children it can be tempting to think ‘Christmas is all about the kids’. And yes, Christmas is a special and magical time for children. It’s a time to surround ourselves with the people we care about and do the things that are important to us.
But it’s also a time to look after ourselves, where we can retreat and replenish ourselves in preparation for the long, cold, dark winter months.
7. You Can’t Help All The People All The Time
This is a special note for those of you who may suffer from Christmas guilt.
If you are lucky enough to have a roof over your head, food on your table, family around you and perhaps even a few presents under the tree then you are doing better than a lot of people.
Be grateful for what you have and help other people where you can.
BUT don’t fall into the Christmas guilt trap.
You are still allowed to enjoy Christmas even if it is a difficult time for other people.
Pick one or two causes to support this Christmas. Support them wholeheartedly in any way that you can – either financially or by giving your time.
But don’t feel that you have to support every good cause that comes your way this Christmas. As much as you may want to, you can’t help all the people all the time. This is the route to exhaustion and dissatisfaction.
Appreciate what you have, support where you can but don’t forget to enjoy yourself in the process.
Last year almost 5,000 people downloaded my Calm Chrimstmas Mindfulness Practice.
Get your free copy today by entering your details below and access your five minute breathing space to help you enjoy the festive season.
